The germane question would be; what is the undodgeable bullet? I ain’t talking about the kinda bullet used for guns. I’m not talking about rubber bullets. I’m talking about the kinda bullet that has caused so many deaths among teens and youths. This kinda bullet isn’t shot through a weapon. This kinda bullet could cause trauma and heartache just like the real bullet. This bullet is called BREAK UP. 
Like I mentioned, this bullet causes enough deaths among the youth and teen populations. See the stats http://www.yourtango.com/2012128420/heartbreak-real-says-new-research …in there is the statistic of number of deaths caused by nasty breakups. 

Two things are inevitable in a relationship; these are making up and breaking up. If these haven’t happened in your relationship, please reconsider.. It isn’t a relationship if it hasn’t gone through any of those processes. 

Personal examples might help. 

Last three years, I had a girlfriend. This girl could most likely be referred to as the best girlfriend I’ve had so far. She understood me to the extent that I felt hopelessly in love with her. Also, I felt quite insecure and afraid because things that I didn’t tell her about myself, she knew by just looking at and reading me. Basically, she was my true love. We went out together, we would want to always see each other, I always called her to know where she was and if I could squeeze myself into her plans. This isn’t about sex though. True love isn’t all about sex. In fact, if you truly love anyone, take sex off the table and examine what is left. If all you do is kiss and make love, eventually, you’ll kiss your teeth and breakup. 

Back to my story, she was all I could think about for several weeks. And the most amazing thing was that at first sight and at first interaction, we clicked. It was like she was the missing piece that I had been looking for. We talked for a while and, we went to get some drinks and then, we sat far away from where people were. It was basically and sincerely one of my best days ever. We started talking and laughing and from there, to kissing. Truthfully, at the moment, I had a girlfriend. . .But like they say, when it’s right, it’s right. . So, I told her that I had a girlfriend and she was concerned and she said she didn’t want to be the cause of our breakup and then, from there, we were silent until I escorted her to her place. Anyway, I had the conviction that she was the one for me, and then, I decided to breakup with my girlfriend. Now, this seems like something only a douche would do. I’m a douche; a pathetically loving douche……. So, that same night, I called out my girlfriend and I broke up with her…. Then, I called out this other girl that I truly loved. She came out and then asked me why I called her out and I told her that I just broke up with my girlfriend.. Boy was she pissed. She was so pissed at me for doing that. She felt I was being too inconsiderate. …Anyway, she angrily went back to her room and then, I went to mine,  crying. It wasn’t a funny night for me. I cried to the extent that I couldn’t hold myself back. I had to stay in the kitchen where I cried till I slept. For days, she was avoiding me and she decided not to call anymore. I tried to call, but to no avail. I sent messages, she didn’t reply any. Then, an idea dropped in my head.. This was the idea; I texted her “I LOVE YOU” messages that filled the entire screen of my phone. Then, she called me and asked if I really meant it; I said that I did. We met in front of her hostel where she was locked out of because she forgot her keys. It was like fate wanted us to just discuss. So, she and I chatted and talked and gisted  about lots of stuffs and then, we went out to grab a bite. 

Everything else was like heaven to me. I was always smiling, always playing with people and always jovial. This had an abrupt end when I saw her result and I saw that it was very low (I mean her grades). I called her to discuss this. I suggested that she and I should just stay away from each other for a while until she was able to pick herself up, academically. As we were discussing this, she said in a very low voice that she wanted to breakup with me. My heart started to beat; started sounding like it was drumming to a metallic song. Her reason was that I was being too overprotective of her and she didn’t like it. This shattered my heart into pieces that I didn’t know how to begin rearranging. I tried to convince her that I wasn’t, but she was adamant. 

We broke up and it caused a massive breakdown within me. I was devastated to the extent that I talked to no-one, I laughed at no jokes, I was constantly crying and rolling on the floor, I even cried on one of my exam papers. It was bad. This was my experience between 2014 and 2015. 2015 especially was very hard for me emotionally. 

The point I’m trying to raise is that breaking up is more or less a platform for improvement and not an avenue to scare people, when you try to commit suicide. Think of breakups as a process in constructing buildings. When a part of the building isn’t as planned on the blueprint, it’s destroyed to be constructed again. This is the way relationships are meant to be. The fact that he broke up with you or she dumped you doesn’t mean that you’re a terrible person. It’s just a process to a better person. The experience should reconstruct you and remould you rather than tear you apart and crumble you. 

My testimony should make you stronger. Now, I have self control, I know I should expect breakups and that when they come, they are very difficult to swallow. They are like a very big Tylenol pm; you’ll swallow, but, it’ll take a while. Stay strong. Be wise as to the way you would react to breakups. 

Enjoy your love life. 

Adios. 

Leke signing out. 

For features and comments on the blog, contact me via my email at gbemilekeolaniyan@gmail.com or via BBM; D6046872

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