For those of you that haven’t read my last post, it’s titled “insignificant others”. Apparently, that’s the part one. Here’s a link to that post; http://wp.me/p8jmkg-1y .
This post will be concentrated on how the insignificant others, otherwise called family, affect the way we choose to love. Now, I’m gonna get a little preachy and quite emotional because it’s something that still goes on in my family. What I mean by the previous sentences is that as products of families, we are affected by them. The way we think, the way we see life, the way we choose to live as well as the way we choose to love are all a part of the influence of our different families.
To conquer this post and to drive my point home, I’m gonna categorize families into different groups and try to talk on each family type and how they affect the way we love.
First and foremost, the happy family. This can be subdivided into two: the overprotective happy family and the overexposed happy family. The overprotective happy family usually has disciplinarians as parents and the children are just too trained and too taken care of. Now, one would notice that their thinking as well as their way of life is just to stereotyped and everything is more or less a ritual. For instance, the children would always be disgusted at wrong doings and they always get to events very early and they most likely keep to themselves. The reason is not because they cannot interact, but they are most likely disgusted at the slightest mistake or wrongdoing. Hypothetically, they take love so strictly. They always expect that those they get into relationships with should be very disciplined and well mannered. They always expect the perfect man or woman. And because of that, they tend to push the guy or girl too hard to try to structure and restructure the person. The mistake is that they eventually push the person away due to the rules and regulations set. Now, another aspect about them, again hypothetically, is that they tend to be a little less exposed. You notice that when they are left alone, they are left with both the rules and regulations as well as fear of being alone. For these kind of people, please, treat them with care, they are prone to be easily manipulated. Therefore, if you’re dating someone like this, try your best not to hurt their feelings. If you do, you’re dead, man. They are also very very strong, physically. Now, don’t be mistaken, they are extremely caring. They tend to do anything for you out of the depth of their hearts. This is because they have been taught this way from home. Plus, they are softhearted.
The overexposed person coming from the overexposed happy family would be very caring, but very carefree in doing so. This kinda person has the knowledge of love and intends to use it to the maximum. Most of them are usually very free with their parents and they tell them anything, plus, they aren’t disciplined. *Please, don’t confuse my “happy” family with “disciplined” family*. Most likely, someone from this family isn’t that disciplined, but is very happy as happiness is defined by the family itself, not by even the dictionary. A girl from this family wouldn’t know how to cook but is very experienced in loving as she would’ve gone far and wide to love. Due to this, she would’ve gathered so much experience from it. **Two things; first, if she has just started to love, she would most likely sleep with you on the first or second date. Secondly, if she has knowledge of love, lust and heartbreak, she would most likely play you like a ping pong ball. She wouldn’t do it to hurt you or anything, it is just instinctual.
The other category is very wide and quite inexhaustible. It’s the unhappy family. This category is most likely where most people are. Features of this kinda family could include a dad who does drugs, drinks a lot and beats up his children or maybe he sleeps around with other ladies and neglects his own family. It could include a mom who does crazy things like prostitution or drug dealing, because nobody is catering for her children and herself. She most likely does drugs too and maybe drinks to quench the sorrow. Also, the children in this kinda family could be doing things as petty as shop lifting, carjacking or as serious as drug trafficking, child trafficking or armed robbery, rape and the likes. I’m not saying that this is the way it always is. That is, it’s not all unhappy families do the things I have listed above, it could be as flippant as a family suffering from neglect. Maybe a family in which the dad and mom are going through a serious breakup, or a family where the dad hits the mom or vice versa. Those kinda families exist. Newton’s third law states that for every action, there is an equal or an opposite reaction. This apples here in the sense that the children from such homes tend to do one of these two things. Some tend to be very forceful and harmful. For these people, due to the way the parents treat each other at home, there is an equal reaction that is displayed in his or her own relationship. One would find out that they tend to fight a lot. For these kinda people, please take time to understand them if truly you love them. Try your best not to step on their toes because they won’t just step on your toes too, but they would also crush them. Therefore, please, try your best to control your temper and the way you talk around them. The best is to appeal to their soft spot. The way to do that is to tell them how much you love them whenever you have the chance and also don’t deprive them of a very emotional hug when you have the chance. The effect of that is you would heal their wounds. These wounds are not the type caused by physical damage, but emotional ones.
Those that turn the tables around in their own relationships, thereby observing the other part of Newton’s third law (that is, having an opposite reaction), are those who try to improve on the mistakes of their parents in their own relationships. I’m one of those people. I won’t go into details, but, there are issues in my family and I try not to make the same mistakes in my own relationship. One of the mistakes in my family is the nonchalant attitude towards other family members. Because of this, I became overly caring and I tried to be this guy who is always there for his girl. *the first girl I truly loved broke up with me because she said I was being so overprotective of her *. Anyway, enough about me, lemme tell you what you should do with people like me if you’re in a relationship with them. Truthfully, we try to be overprotective and all, but one thing is to look within. Don’t be pissed at the fact that he is too overprotective, instead, welcome it. Also, we try not to make the same mistakes our parents make, and in doing so, we try to set rules for those we are dating. These rules are just there to guide against mistakes; we are prone to be extremely sad, once those mistakes are made. Also, it’s important to note that though we are hurt inside, don’t treat us like we’re cuddly teddy bears. Treat us with respect because we find it hard to hurt people consciously; because we are hurt, but trying to compress it. Then, a letter to people like me, don’t take advantage of the situation going on in your family, instead, try your best to improve on mistakes. Some people are just so savage that because of what is going on in their families, they use that so that girls would suck up to them and start to feel so compassionate, that it starts from cries and ends as sweat *wink*💏. Also, we are hurt, yeah, don’t make yourself pitiful. It’s one thing to be hurt it’s another when you transcend it to pity.