Most people would wonder what I would write next. Like “so, what happens after the date? “. Do they just begin to go out forever and just live happily ever like in Disney movies?.
Truthfully, there are different things that begin to emerge when two people become dedicated to each other.
First of all, you are seen as an adult by your peers and all. You begin to join the noble men’s club and the league of extraordinary gentlemen. You begin to be a model for the people to follow.
Also, the truth about your partner begins to unravel. That is, both of you might have dropped the act a while back. You do not live in the wonderland anymore. There are no fairy tales anymore. You guys begin to see and witness the truth about each other. For instance, my girlfriend at a point began to experience my hot temperance. I would flare up at any little thing that annoys me. So, for some people, it might just be that, or a number of unpleasant attitudes that one must have grown up with.
Anyhoo, this time around, I would be discussing growth as a concept in dating. As opposed to growth that occur in plants and animals and even in human beings, I would be discussing the growth that involves maturing.
What could one call growth or the state of being mature. To a layman, one could term it as advancing oneself. Or an obvious elevation from the immature, childish habits.
In dating, and this is so important, I would describe being mature or growth as dumping behaviours that would repel you from your partner and also trying to adjust to your partner and your partner’s habits (good or bad), and trying to correct negative attitudes in your partner.
To men: in most societies, we are the ones who are expected to mature first before the ladies; I’m sorry ladies, but it’s the truth. The man is expected to be the muscle of the woman as well as the emotional backbone of the woman. You guys aren’t married yet, but it’s important to note that of you are serious about dating and actually serious; very serious about it, then you are meant to be stronger than the woman. I don’t mean physical strength, I mean emotionally, psychologically and even in orientation. You should be able to give advice to your girl if she needs it. You should be able to also be the shoulder she would cry on as well as lean on. This is because if you’re as soft as she is, she would look for someone stronger to help her.
Imagine a scenario where your girl is stuck in a ditch and she has no way to come out, what would you do as a man? Would you pull her out with strength or would you wait for another person to help you pull because you don’t have the strength?
I use this scenario to establish my point. You cannot be another lady added to the life of a lady. She needs a man.
Now, in being strong, one could also be weak. It’s very much allowed. I know that most people would want to say that you should not allow your girl to see you cry, they say it’s a sign of weakness. To me, it’s a sign of strength to display weakness. You are allowed to cry in the presence of your girl. I believe that a couple that cry together, stay together… Lol. I mean it though.
To the ladies. The fact that you have a man doesn’t make the man your husband. Yes, he’s allowed to foot some of your bills. Not all. You don’t want to be a reason for argument between you two. What I mean is, if your man is broke, leave it as that. And believe me, you can also be the one to pay, it doesn’t make him less of a man. It makes you guys a potentially strong couple if you eventually get married. So, if your man is without cash, help him out. Now, the mistake most ladies make is trying to be over-understanding. That is, yes, he’s broke, he has always been broke and he has never for once decided to pay for anything, except your first date. Now, the way forward is to give him chance to pay and not jump into paying for him all the time. If you guys buy burger together, he says he’s low on cash, you pay, ice-cream, you pay, a shoe you love and you want him to buy, you buy, you pay for everything, my candid advise to you is RUN 🏃 till you never see him again, unless, you’ll be the breadwinner of your own relationship. Also, to y’all gold diggers, always wanting the man to pay for all your stuff, and always selecting the most expensive stock, you would be amazed at how quickly he would turn to Usain Bolt and run away from you for life.
Simple lifestyles could make and mar a relationship, I would suggest that once in a while, you sit down and check your relationship status.
*for features, you could comment below. If you want your relationship experience on my blog, then just send an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org… It wouldn’t hurt to also comment below your minds and other tips to improve the blog. Thanks.
Leke signing out.